SCENE :

Malik discussing the removal of General Stanley Mcchrystal with Gen. ISI

Location is the drawing room at Margalla road house.


Gen : sunna aap ney jo huwa ?
Malik : kis barey mein?

Gen : Gen. Mcchrystal ka?
Malik : haan...

Malik : I thought that he was good.
Malik : really good and capable of putting this mess to some order
Malik : Someone finally understood the situation and wanted to do what is needed in this part of the world

Malik : It seemed that he was NOT doing it the way he did in Iraq.
Malik : am I wrong ?

Gen : He was an able General.

Malik : He was actually putting restrictions on operations and procedures
Gen : right..

Malik : "wadoon" ko shaid pasand nahi aeeiyee yeh baat aur is ka naiya style

Malik : they want some one to go in and blast out
Gen : hmm
Malik : kya khayal hai aap ka?
Malik : why did he do what he did ?
Malik : or was it done to get rid of him ?


Gen : lagta hai key is ko hataya gya hai
Gen : jaa tu woh theek hi raha tha
Gen : kam az kam hamarey hisaab sey
Gen : ab mudah hum par girey ga
Gen : all of it

Malik : scapegoat ?
Gen : yup

Malik : like Cambodia?
Gen : yup

Malik : hmmmm...chalo kya kar saktein hain?
Malik : lakin pata nahin kay demotion hai ya promotion?

Gen : Mcchrystal ki ? ya Patreus ki?
Malik : Nahin.... Hamari .... Pakistaniyun ki ...

Malik : hum baiyl sey ab goat ban gye hain ?
Gen : ha ha ha

Malik : Mazaaq apni jaga but this is a serious matter
Malik : And no one seems to grab the
Malik : the seriousness of the situation
Malik : some of your old bosses think that "Amreeka" has lost and will leave and they will dance on the tunes of victory

Malik : They just cannot make peace with the fact that they R E T I R E D from the Pakistan Army..
Malik : Their time is finished
Malik : It is their thinking that has brought us to live in this situation

Malik : where NA deen na duniya......
Malik : dono ka hi bera gharaq kar diya in logon ney apni defined egos kee satisfaction key liye

Malik : ab TV par aakey baan baan kartey phirtain hain....


Malik : Do you honestly think that they will leave for good?

Malik : And define leave?

Gen : hmm
Gen : mera nahin khayal
Gen : that they will go anywhere
Gen : atleast for the next ten to twenty years

Malik : true...just look at their history

Malik : but coming back to Mcchrystal
Malik : Hamarey liye tu woh behtar tha ?

Gen : Patreus is also ok

Malik : You did not answer my question?
Gen :)
Malik : was he ?
Gen : ))

Malik : :) aap logon ki waisey samajh nahin aati.
Malik : why can't you say what is on your mind?

Gen : Duty compulsions

Malik : ha ha ha

Malik : and where do these duty compulsions go when Military take overs are done ?
Malik : ? Haan....hmm

Malik : but anyways abhee tu shukr hai key Patreus is demotion wali job key liye maan gya
Malik : warna Gen. Mattis, Roriguez ya John Allen ney aakay tu aag laga dainee thee
Malik : AAG laga kar chaltey bannah tha

Malik : Maarey jana aur suffer tu hum ney karna hai na...
Malik : un ko kya farak parhta hai
Malik : Saal ka time hai aag lagao bandey maro aur chaltey bano..


Gen : Maybe that was the idea...
Gen : But did not go exactly as planned by someone...
Malik : I think so too
Malik : Luckily and "Allah KITA" key Patreus hi maan gya....
Malik : warna kaam kharab tha buhat

Gen: Buhat hi kharab tha...
Gen: Shamat ajani thee

Malik : Kambakhat ney Obama key liye koi rasta hi nahin chora tha
Malik : Us ko yeh karna hi parna tha
Malik : Ab dekho kya banta hai aagey

cont..

SCENE :

Rohail Hayat and Malik sitting chatting in the living room at Margalla road while munching on some mouth watering NIMKO plus sawaiyaan made by Hina.

( Courtesy You Tube )




Malik : Rohail Bhai ...
Rohail : :)
Rohail : Haanji ?

Malik : Kya GHAZAB ki "F I N D" hai ?
Malik : Meesha absolutely fantastic
Malik : Balkay BOMBASTIC

Rohail : aap ney us ka woh overload wala mela suna hai ?
Malik : yup


( Courtesy You Tube )




Rohail : Yeh wala
Malik : Mela Kariye..right ?
Rohail : Ahaan

Malik : very nice
Malik : Western yet very nice

Malik : I did not like the voice fudging in the antara though
Malik : The drums were overloaded :)

Rohail : That was the desired purpose :)
Malik : I can see that But...
Malik : I would like it with the open voice
Malik : like singing in a lounge... you know...

Rohail : ya to a point I do agree
Malik : :)

Malik : Agar aisay hi chalteh rahey
Malik : tu ... you will give all these other so called crazed and faked programs a tough time

Rohial : Kya matlab?
Malik : I mean all these "idols" widols...
Malik : :)
Malik : Though some contestants are pretty good
Malik : I still think they are over rated
Malik : And, and And

Rohail : And ?
Malik : And the Pakistanis have done ... that is gonna click
Malik : even in the western market
Rohail : you mean ?
Rohail : "SUFISM"

Malik : Ya
Malik : you can already see that our yougsters
Malik : click more than them
Malik : just by embracing this "SUFISM"

Rohail : :) yeh them kon hain ?

Malik : :)
Malik : I mean Indians
Rohail : I knew it just wanted to hear it from your mouth....ha ha ha

Malik : Hamesha say pangey baz tha tu
Rohail : hamesha say ?
Malik : tell me something ..
Rohail : Do you ever try to remember your school days?

Rohail : Hmmm......A little
Rohail : Saint Marys was not that bad ...

Malik : Remember the " BHUDDIS"
Rohail : Yaa......

Malik : Anyways Arif Lohar say woh dusra wala gana kyun nahin gawaya?
Rohail : Kon sa

Malik : woh " Eik Phul motiya da"
Rohail : Haaaaaan , Maybe next time ..

Malik : We need activity like these
Malik : Alot more than that exists
Malik : Something for people to look on to ...you know...

Rohail : Activity tu bilkul hi khatam hoti jarahi hai
Malik : Maulvi jo takkar gya hai hum ko..
Malik : har cheez ko ghair Islami karaar dey datain hain
Malik : In ka bas chaley tu yeh tu hawa ko bhee na manain...
Malik : such idiots
Malik : And we have no shortage of them either

Rohail :)

Malik : Idiots in abundance

SCENE : 2

They watch the Jugni and the video of the next upcoming episode together

Malik : Absolutely fantastic ...tell the bloody indians to match these ....


(courtesy You Tube )






Malik : WOW.... beautiful.

Rohail : Yeh check karain .. your fav " FIND" :)

( courtesy You Tube )




Malik : Kya Baat Hai ....

SCENE : 1

After disposing off official matters Malik Sain and Maryam are having some chat regarding the function at the farm house


Maryam : Sir kal kaisa raha farm pay ?

Malik : :)
Malik : Aasiya showed up

Maryam : I know she called me looking for Zaynab
Maryam : and you know how she always wants inside news updates
Maryam : so I told her to go there and get it

Malik : :) I know she was there
Maryam : Aisi karaari mehfil kahan chorti hai woh

Malik : :)
Malik : true

Maryam : aap ki Shahid Masood say ho gyee baat ?

Malik : Naa, woh wahan pay us nay bataya kay ...
Malik : He is planning to join ARY

Malik : Tu main nay socha key lets see what he does there first
Malik : So I did not ask him anything

Maryam : Acha kiya, infact buhat acha kiya
Maryam : It was not the right moment
Malik : ya that is what I thought too

Malik : Talat aagya hai wapas ?

Maryam : yes he is back

Malik : in ONE piece ?
Maryam : :) gee sir...
Malik : good

Malik : Acha huwa kay he was there
Malik : warna hamari tu siraf baatain hi hotein hain
Malik : Falastine pay

Maryam : Aur mazey ki baat tu yeh hai key jab un logon nay in koh deportation papers diyey

Maryam : tu un ko kaha inno nay kay hum ney samney wali window par dey diyey hain

Malik : Aur ?

Maryam : And he showed it unsigned on TV :)

Malik : :)
Malik : Barhi CHEEZ hai yeh... Kya baat hai

Malik : Tu kya woh loag dhoondtay rahey?

Maryam : yup

Malik : :):)
Malik : Talat kya baat hai teri....:)

Malik : Waisay aab shaid kuch hal chal ho

Malik : Israel ka wasta aab Turkey say direct parha hai
Malik : Yeh nikamey Arab tu kisi kaabil nahin hain

Malik : Aqal in ko aab bhee nahin aaney wali
Malik : Laikin game interesting ho gyee hai

Maryam : kya kuch honey ki umeed bani hai ?

Malik : Hona kya hai ? Expose tu huway na

Malik : woh jo hawa banaya huwa hai un ka

Malik : woh tu tuta na

Maryam : True

Malik : Woh tu Allah nay izzat rakhni thee

Malik : is liyey Talat ko charha diya us ship par

Malik : warna na hota tu Turkey ka akaila hi effort mana jata

Malik : aur baat tu waisay "RIGHT" aur "WRONGS" ki hai

Malik : Kuch seedhay tu huway hongay

Malik : Kum az kum yeh tu bataaya na hamarey logoon ko
Malik : kay message through karnay ka yeh bhee aik rasta hai

Malik : Hamaray MAULVI ki tarhaan
Malik : apnay logoon ko marey ya marwaai beghair

Malik : good example

Maryam : Very good example


Malik picks up his phone

Malik : yeh meri AAJ TV par Talat say baat karwain please...

Malik : pata kar laina pehlay kay woh busy na hon

Operator : right sir



SCENE 2



Malik on phone with Talat after the traditional salam dua

Talat : Sir I want to thank you for your efforts
Malik : about what ?

Talat : I know because I was told by the ambassador's staff that you had personally talked to Moore and Steph..
Malik : Don't worry about it and don't mention it

Malik : although I was pretty confident about your return but...
Malik : was worried that it might happen in " CUT PIECES"
Malik : but it is good to see you in one

Talat :)
Talat : you have a strange sense of humor sir
Malik : Na , tu bhai hai apna
Malik : Teray liyay nahin tu phir aur kis kay liyay.....haan

Malik : Waisay Riffat say baat ho gyee thee meri and I told him that someone has assured me your safe return
Talat : I know sir he told me
Talat : Thank you again

Malik : Waisay main nay tu bola tha kay agar ho sakay tu kisi tarhan
Malik: Aap ko kuch din Israel main rehnay ko mil jain
Malik : Tu kuch inside khabaran ajatein

Talat : I did try though
Malik : You did ?
Talat : yes, "coz" she told me that you had asked that too
Talat : Laikin they didn't allow it

Malik : Yeh "SHE" aur " THEY" kon hain ?
Talat : :)
Talat : janey dain sir chorain
Malik : :)
Malik : Oye tu kahin badal tu nahin gya ?
Malik : :)
Malik : wohi Talat hai na ?
Talat : :)
Talat : Aap ki dua say

Malik : Waisay treatment kaisa tha?
Malik : In general?
Malik : you know what I mean ?

Talat : I think they did not have a choice but their treatment i would term it as sort of cold
Talat : a little panicky but ...
Talat : very measured and prompt afterwards
Talat : aik aik cheez pre-planned ho jaisay
Talat : in its own kind of way impressive

Talat : i mean humara ghussa apni jaga par but..
Talat : They knew what to do
Talat : and they did it without caring for anything

Malik : Woh tu hona hee tha
Malik : Bola bhee tu tha na unhon nay
Talat : sir phir bhee

Malik : Han laikin phasay buray hain ab
Talat : absolutely
Talat : Myth tu tuuti na

Malik : Right

Malik : Baqi dono jo saath thay woh bhi theek hain na
Talat : Jee theek hain
Malik : Good

Malik : OK Mr Hero ab teray say mulakat kab ho gi?
Talat : Main do teen din zara busy hoon
Talat : phir program banatay hain

Talat : Aap suna hai functions humaray baghair hi kar rahain hain?
Malik : :)
Malik : "FUNCTIONS" nahin aik hi function tha woh bhee kisi ki request pey

Talat : Kis ki request pay ?
Malik : :)
Malik : Choro janay do
Talat : Phir bhee
Malik : Kaha na choro baad main bataun ga

Talat : phir to lagta hai kay sitting jaldi karni parhey gi ?

Malik : Waisay Talat your sense to smell news from a pond is admirable:)
Talat : Tu phir parsoon theek hai
Malik : Kahan ?

Talat : Islamabad Club?
Malik : Koi aah raha hai kya?
Talat : yehi samajh lain :)
Malik : Important ?
Talat : Ahaan

Malik : OK .... Kitney bajay?
Talat : 6:30 PM

Malik : Aur aamad kis time par hai ?
Talat : Itna hi maloom parha hai aab tak

Talat : Aap pata karwain na?
Malik : let me see what I can do

Malik : I ll See you then
Talat : sure

Talat : aur Malik Sahab
Malik : ji
Talat : Thank you again very very much
Malik : Kaha na " FIQR NA KAR, ZIKR NA KAR"
Malik : Yeh logoon ki duaain hain teray saath
Talat : :)
Malik : Ok Rab Rakha
Talat : Allah Hafiz


( Dhan Tanaaaaaan tanana nana )
Next Episode
Highlights
The fantasy gupshup indulges in discussing the UPCOMING COKE STUDIO SEASON
With Rohail Hayat on the Dinner Table.

Malik : Rohail Bhai ...
Rohail : :)
Rohail : Haanji ?

Malik : Kya GHAZAB ki "F I N D" hai ?
Malik : Meesha absolutely fantastic
Malik : Balkay BOMBASTIC

SCENE : 1

Dinner has been served with Hina busy in supervising the event and the rest ecstatic with the kind and style of food served.

Pleasant but uninvited arrival of Aasiya Riaz (urf smiley)

Nusrat : Acha Hina Ji yeh hai kya balah :)
Hina : Aap ko kya yeh balah lag rahi hai ?
Nusrat : Nahin main tu waise hi mazaq kar raha tha.
Hina : :)
Hina : Main nay socha shaid kay aap ...
Hina : you know what I mean :) tun wun .. nahin :)

Nusrat : Hina Ji aap bhee...you too Brutus ?
Hina : :)
Hina : Aap jo bhee karain mere to aap one of the favorites hain

Malik : One of the ?
Malik : out of how many ?
Hina : Hmmmmm

Aasiya enters with her EVER SMILEY face

Malik : Aaeiyay Janab e Aali ..
Aasiya : Salamalaikum ji

Malik : woh aey ghar pey hamaray ...
Aasiya : mujhey Mariam nay abhee bataya kay Zaynab is here
Aasiya : and I was passing by so I thought

Malik : Passing By !
Malik : Simly?
Malik : well it is quite a "pass by" :)
Malik : just kidding :)

Malik : "Aasi" .... thought, ya kay, leave me the hell alone ?
Malik : :)
Aasiya : :)
Aasiya : I hope I am not bothering ?

Malik : Bothering does not even come close to you sweety
Malik : not at all

Malik : Acha pehlay yeh batao kay ?

Malik : Akailay hi ya kay Bilal "TERA" Mehboob "SUFI" bhee aaya hai?

Aasiya : :)
Aasiay : Very funny :)

Aasiya : Did you not just say " Leave" , "Hell" AND "Alone"
Malik : really ?
Malik : Aww

Aasiya : Aap to har cheez ka scandal hi bana laytain hain
Malik : Ohoo ab hum scandal ya phir.......

Zaynab : Aasi :):):)
Zaynab : tu kidhar phir rahi hai ?

Malik : woh bhee without "MEHBOOB" AND "SUFI
Zaynab : Are you going to let it go now ?
Zaynab : Sain..... Ji

Malik : Jitni yeh smiley bholuu hai na
Malik : Itna hi is ko tang karney main maza aata hai
Malik : Isey tang bhee na karain tu aur kya karain ?

Malik : anyways chal pehley khana kha
Malik : Phir teri bhee class laytain hain

Aasiya : Meri ?
Aasiya : Main nay kya kiya ?

Malik : Ka jol tu "Moeed" Suit wala " Zada" kay saath kya batar batar kar rahi thee? :(

Aasiya : oo...oooooo
Aasiya : kyun Fauzia nay kuch kaha?

Malik : Fauzia nay kya kehna hai ?
Malik : Tu nay kyun usay kuch nahi kaha ?
Malik : Wadi MISS Nice ban gayee.
Aasiya : :)

Zaynab : Dunno why but these days he cannot stand Fauzia



SCENE 2



Brig ISI : Koi aisa individual hai jo sahib-e - aukat ho aur aap ko na janta ho ?

Malik : Sir aap batain ?
Malik : Nazarain tu aap log raktain hain sab pay ?

Malik : Infact yehi tu aik kaam aap log kartey hain :)

Brig ISI : Sir hum ko tu badnaam buhat kar diya hai ?

Malik : Kis Nay ?

Brig ISI : Media nay.

Malik : :)
Malik : Zoor tu buhat lagaya tha aap logon nay
Malik : kay na khulain yeh saraiy channels
Malik : par Musharaf nahin maana

Brig ISI : aur dekha na phir huwa kya?

Malik : kya ?
Malik : Musharaf hi gya koi zameen nahi phat gai
Malik : Aur na hi koi aasman gira

Malik : Although it is pretty close to that BUT STILL

Malik : Yeh jo insecurity hai na aap logon ki
Malik : is ka siraf nuqsaan hi huwa hai Pakistan ko
Malik : Aur kuch nahin
Brig ISI : Like when?

Malik : Like people still think that they are incharge
Malik : And you know towards whom I am referring

Malik : ISI ko yeh baat samajhna parey gi kay Cold War is over
Malik : And the world has moved on
Malik : and all we got out of it was JACK ...

Mushtaq : Jack ?

Malik : Hmm...Mushtaq you need to do your Matric again

Nusrat : Yeh baat agar yeh samaj jaaen to maslaiy hal na ho jaaen

Malik : Yeh samajtey hi nahin hain
Malik : Lagey huwaiy hain is mulk ko aur apnay aap ko
Malik : Tabah karney pay
Malik : Rahi sahi kasr yeh politicians nikal dain gain
Malik : Maray ga kon ?
Malik : AAM log
Malik : including you and me

Malik : yeh saraiy cheemay, chathay, Chaudhries, Shareefs, Gillanis

Malik : yeh rahaiy gain yahan ?
Malik : Yeh jo in ki PHANTOMs hain
Malik : Un ko Chatain gain kya?

Mushtaq : PHANTOM ?

Malik : Haan PHANTOM.
Mustaq : Woh kya hai ?

M.S. : Bhai yeh aik aisi car hoti hai
M.S. : Jis ko lainaiy kay liyey
M.S. : aap ko crores kay karzaiy maaf karwanay partay hain

Malik : Aur PM bhee hona parta hai
Mushtaq : Na karain ?
Mushtaq : really ?

Malik : ROLLS ROYCE PHANTOM
Malik : For the PM's SON

Malik : Khair choro yeh baatain
Malik : Shahid sahib kidhar gaye ?

Malik : Un ka bhi pata nahin chalta
Malik : Suna hai kay phir "GEO" Ja " GEO" Karnay walain hain?

Everyone's ears just STOOD up at the comment

Malik : ARY ah ah ah GEO ja ja ja


( Short Personal Break ) ( Dhan Tanaaaan tana nana )